Do you really need more self-confidence?


  • Self-confidence is not something we actually need. We’re fine and can survive without it.
  • If you’re wanting a certain result in your life, self-confidence is a concept packaged (especially in the USA) as a way to get it.
  • Outside of self-help gurus and Hollywood, self-confidence is really a way to investigate your current belief systems and question them to see if they’re still helping you.
  • To take action in your life in areas that you would like to, you don’t need the full 100% self-confidence, rather 2% is all that’s necessary.

Is self-confidence worth it? Why do some people or cultures (i.e. USA) focus on building and developing it?

The short answer is: No.

You don’t need it. Self-confidence, like other emotions – motivation, determination – are nuanced emotions developed through human’s advancement in language and cognitive skills. You’re perfectly fine without it.

The even better news is that even if you want to take more action in your life – whether that’s to build better relationships, create more money or improve your health – you don’t need to rely heavily on self-confidence.

What you need is an “out”. An “out” is getting out or outside of your current thinking and belief system. There’s nothing wrong with your current belief system, it’s gotten you to where you are today but it won’t get it to where you want to be (assuming you want something you don’t currently have).

An “out” gets you unstuck from beliefs like “I’m not ready” or “I don’t think this will work” or “I’ve tried everything so nothing else will.”

When you can poke a hole into this belief, even a pin prick, you have your “out”. Your hole could be a thought like “Maybe I’m ready.” or “It’s possible this will work.” or “I could be wrong about this.”

You begin to question all those sneaky little thoughts that seem true. You realise that maybe, just maybe that belief wasn’t 100% correct. You realise that it was doubt trying to keep you safe. Because your status quo is not so bad (you’ve got shelter, the internet, etc.) and your brain doesn’t want the risk of doing anything challenging that “might” compromise it.

This “out” in it’s nuanced, slightly sophisticated form is actually self-confidence. It isn’t the superhero cape wearing self-confidence we see in films, in real life, you can start with 2% of that.

That’s great news!

You don’t need self-confidence, just 2% of it.

Two percent self-confidence – poking a hole in your current belief system – is enough, it’s where you start. It doesn’t look nor sound like the self-confidence that self-help books or Hollywood refers to (they’re at the extreme end at 100%) and it doesn’t need to be.

Believing that we need the 100% self-confidence we see often in the media is misleading and self-sabotaging. When you feel like you’re at zero, one hundred percent looks daunting and unobtainable.

There’s no better way to quit than to not even start.

Two percent is your “out”. It’s a simple question – is that really true?

Hollywood and the self-help industry might have packaged it and advertised it as something we need but then again “is that really true?”.

They could be wrong, eh? Start at 2% and see where that takes you. You might be surprised that you don’t need the 100% self-confidence marketing to you. Two percent is enough to get you “out” and going.

One response to “Do you really need more self-confidence?”

  1. […] There are 2 steps, that’s it, to shifting the belief from “I can’t do it” to “It’s possible I could be wrong that I can’t”. Because all they need is 2% self-confidence (not a 100%) to get going. […]

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