Ever notice you don’t yell when you don’t feel frustrated?
That’s the key – end the frustration.
The biggest lie I learned about emotions is that you can’t control how you feel.
We create our own anger. We know this because not everyone gets angry at the same thing.
Check out a traffic jam, some are yelling and honking, others are happily listening to podcasts.
This means you 100% have control over whether you feel it or not.
That’s the best news. Because if you were less frustrated or angry, you wouldn’t yell or say things you didn’t mean as much.
Popular anger advice falls short by focusing on controlling the behaviours. Anger is a fast, reactive emotion. It’s difficult to catch it and remember those time outs and breathing exercises in the moment.
That’s why it doesn’t work for the long term. It isn’t getting to the root – why you’re feeling frustrated a lot.
Learning how to end the frustration is the secret.
You can use all the anger management techniques but the next time there’ll be a new trigger, a new situation without the knowledge of the root cause of your anger.
That’s what I realised. There would always a new job, a new place we moved, basically life happening and I was still frustrated and yelling. I spent a lot of time trying to control my environment and in turn making myself exhausted.
It just wasn’t working and it wasn’t a way to live. And at the same time, have the kind of relationships I wanted with my family and friends.
Dealing with anger at the root is going to be effective for the long-term. And it’s applicable to all your relationships.
If you know how to control your frustration, you’ll stop yelling.
If you understand it, you’ll have amazing relationships.
Ready to get started?
Tara Ramachandra 