I used to think there was something wrong with me because my daydreams seemed like out of this world fantasties.
I would be lost in them for hours and I couldn’t wait for night time so I could enter this world that seemed so far away. I was so scared to tell my therapist about them because she would think I was “crazy”.
But I realised the mind tells us things in different ways. And my constant daydreams were information, they were the things about myself I was neglecting in my real life.
One of main daydreams were about having another family. I had different parents, lived in a different city and had a fun brother. As I started to get courage to look a little closer and what my mind was telling me (through life coaching) I realised I was trying to change my past.
I wanted a childhood with a mom that didn’t physically and verbally abuse me and a dad who cared that I existed. And this desire, although understandable, was futile. I couldn’t change the circumstances of the past. The best way to change my past was to change how I perceived it and its impact on me today.
Even working through this, my daydreams were still constant but in a different form. It started to come closer to reality. But there was a lot of information in there. In them, lie some of my deepest desires – my true desires for what I wanted in my life.
I was scared to look because there was a mismatch in my daydreams than what I had in my real life. There were little things like my skin inflammation wasn’t there. But also big things like a different career and living in a different city.
All those things were not so out of this world, they just felt out of reach. And that is what I came to know as goal setting. When something is out of reach, no matter how impossible it may seem, that is a goal.
My daydreams were a key to discovering what I wanted in my life. And as miserable, at first, that seemed, there was also a deep realisation that I could actually go after that dream.
I still daydream and again the form has changed. It’s about a life that I’m going after. Every day I take a step closer to that goal. My daydreams involve me visualising that life and sometimes getting wisdom from that future that will become the present.
Tara Ramachandra 