Four Signs You’ve Broken the Cycle
Summary
- Thought landscape: is what you’re focused on habiutally.
- For example, if you smoke, you’re constantly thinking about cigarettes; but a person that doesn’t smoke doesn’t have thoughts about smoking (‘when is my next one, it’s so bad for me’).
- Our attention and focus with stop yelling, centered around anger is that you don’t talk in ‘shoulds’. You don’t have an idea of how people ‘should’ behave.
- Emotions aren’t frightening.
- You can anticipate some emotions.
- When an emotion comes back (rage or frustration) and we yell, we don’t get freaked from it. Instead, we see it as an opportunity to uncover some other beliefs/triggers.
- Communication is not about the right words, it’s about the right emotion.
- Speaking from love rather than anger will guide you to what you say.
- Passive aggressive comments come from anger even if it’s not yelling.
- I rely on curiosity when it comes to having difficult conversations.
- Future focused
- Past focus we look to the past for answers.
- We plan more, look forward and adjust the present instead of fighting with the past (which is a lose-lose battle).
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Tara Rama 