Hi there! I’m Tara.

Here’s some info on breaking the cycle…

What is the cycle?

I toggled between 2 negative emotions (anger and guilt). I didn’t know how to effectively manage my anger/frustration so I used guilt or shame to help me manage it.

Eventually I ended up frustrated again and then yelling again.

Here’s what I learned about the emotion of Anger through books by Harriet Lerner and Guilt/Shame by Brené Brown. I put my learnings of the cycle into the below diagram:

Where to start?

The guilt. It seems counter-intuitive but as I researched emotions – guilt was step one.

Dealing with guilt first did 2 things:

  • made breaking the cycle simpler and permanent
  • got at the root cause of the anger/frustration

Guilt had me focused on what I did “wrong”, not what was causing my habitual frustration and opening me up to solutions other than yelling.

I share more about the breaking the cycle in the podcast episodes below.

The Podcast

Bare in Mind

Willpower vs Willingness Bare In Mind

  1. Willpower vs Willingness
  2. Hidden Anger
  3. Releasing the Guilt
  4. F.A.S.T. Emotions
  5. The Cycle Explained